-The Notebook and its charming toxicity-

The film, released in 2004 and based on a novel with the same name, written by Nicholas Sparks, is, I have to admit, extremely beautiful in its style. The color and softness of the filters let have a warm atmosphere, making a visible contrast between the scenes set in the 1940's and the present timeline. It also gives an emphasis on the time period using things like clothing and its soundtrack. But what is behind all of that beauty? What dos the plot teach us about love? Let's take a look at that.

The story is about old Noah Calhoun, an elder man who regularly visits old Allie in her nursing home. He, almost always, is reading her an old notebook, belonging to Allie, about their own love story, the story of Allie and Noah. Now, Allie can't remember a thing because of her dementia, but there he is, still loving Allie and putting his life aside just to stay with the love of his life and help her remember all those years behind them.

One of the things that stood out to me from the beginning is that Noah tells us how he has lived a common but successful life:

"My name will simply be forgotten. But, in one aspect, I've succeeded as gloriously as anyone who ever lived"

Referring to his love and devotion to Allie.

First encounter

June 6th, 1940, that is the date Allie and Noah net a little state fair, Noah was instantly drawn to Allie, soon realizing the thing that makes them live in world apart: Allie's family are drowning in money, and Noah doesn't have any money. But that won't limit Noah from trying to get what he wants.

When he first sees Allie, she is on a date with another guy, but he approaches her anyways, asking if she wants to dance with him. Allie says no and he keeps pushing and pushing. He decides to jump into the Ferri wheel into the seat in which Allie and her date are, bothering them. He keeps asking Allie, he wants to take her out on a date, even though she has already told him that she doesn't want to. So, he threatens to jump from the Ferri wheel if Allie doesn't go out with him. We clearly see that Noah doesn't respect her boundaries at all, and this is their FIRST scene together.

In the next scene, Allie and Noah are talking on the street and Noah tells Allie that she should go out with him because he's a very passionate person. He thinks Allie should accept his offer just because of who he is, not realizing that Allie has already given him an answer. Allie is a little charmed by his cocky personality, so she decides to give him a chance.

They go on a double date with their friends. After the movie has ended, they go on a walk together. Allie tells Noah that she hasn't seen a movie in a long time because she has a very busy schedule. Her days are all planned out; her life seems to be up for success.

Allie doesn't make a lot of decisions for herself; she takes her parent's advice. Noah, on the other hand, is more of a free spirit, doing what he wants when he wants.

Allie and Noah

The alluring thing about their conversations if how different they are from each other, but how well they complement the other one at the same time. Allie likes the feeling of adventure and freeness that Noah gives her. Noah is more grounded when he is with Allie. They fall in love.

"He was a country boy. She was from the city. She had the world at her feet, while he didn't have two dimes..."

We see them fight a lot, we even see Allie hitting him (which is obviously a horrible thing to see in a couple and shouldn't be accepted in any circumstance), but they stay together because they are crazy in love with each other.

Real problems begin to arise when Allie's family notices her relationship with Noah. They think that it might be a summer love, a first love for Allie, something not to worry about. Soon, they will find out it was more than that.

Is love enough?

Her family meets Noah, and they are not pleased with how poor Noah really is. He doesn't seem ti be the right fit for her. Allie's mother is not very worried as he tells Noah, Allie will be gone; she is going to Sarah Lawrence's college. Allie hadn't told Noah about that yet. Nonetheless, they keep having fun until the summer has almost ended.

One night, they go to the abandoned house that Noah wants to remodel. They almost make love when they realize that Alli's family has been looking out for her. When they arrive to her house, there is a big fight between her and her parents, where her mother says that Noah is complete trash and not for her, making Noah crumble in tears.

Allie says she loves Noah, but that is not enough in this situation. Allie tells her mother that she couldn't know anything about love because she and her father don't love each other; they don't play, they don't laugh, they don't touch each other.

Noah leaves the house with Allie following him. He tells her that she has so much ahead of her, that maybe their relationship is going nowhere. The fight and break up, leaving both of them really hurt.

The breakup

Allie leaves town without the possibility of talking with Noah before doing so. When Noah realizes that Allie was gone, he writes her a letter, apologizing and saying that, if she writes her back, he would go wherever she was. Allie doesn't respond because her mother hides all of the letter coming from Noah. He wrote one letter a day for a year. Another moment in the movie which might seem romantic but, at one point, we have to know that this can be considered stalking, since Noah didn't know Allie's mom was hiding the letter; she could have been ignoring him. After a year of silence, he decided to put it all behind and start a new life. He goes to war, coming back intact.

Allie was in her third year of college when she volunteers for helping injured war soldiers. She meets Lon Hammond, a soldier who invites her on a date and ends up being the perfect fit that her parents wanted: handsome, smart, funny, sophisticated, charming and wealthy. Ally fell in love with him very quickly. Lon and Allie got engaged.

When Noah came back from war, his father gave him money to make his own house; Noah took a look at the house he was planning on rebuilding and only saw one thing: Allie. When Noah went to Charlestone to get his building plans approved, he saw Allie from afar but with one difference, she was with Lon. Noah was so devastated, he took the strength in his rage to restore the house completely, just the way Allie had told him, the way he promised her. He thought Allie would find a way to come back to him.

The reunion

At the time Noah finished the house, it was so pretty that it appeared in the newspapers, everyone wanted to buy it, but no one could. Noah filled his loneliness with Martha, a girl whom he spent the nights with, but didn't want, not for real. This is another toxic trait that he has, treating Martha not like a real woman, but more of someone whom he can take benefit of and not taking into account her feelings.

Allie sees Noah in a newspaper and her world falls apart. She begins ti think and is unsure of what she should do, unsure of her feelings. She tells Lon that she needs some time before her wedding. We can see that, unlike Noah, Lon is very understanding, he doesn't pressure her into wanting him, he doesn't even pressure her into saying yes to their wedding yet, she can still change her mind, he just wants her happiness.

Allie lies to Lon and goes to visit Noah in the white house. When they see each other, they are out of words, she talks but she doesn't know how to express her emotions.

They start talking about Allie's new life and Allie says she loves Lon, so Noah suggests staying as friends (which, in this case, seems like the right thing to do). Allie notices that, the house they are in, is the house they once were going to make love in.

Allie comes back to Noah's house the next day. The start figuring out that they both preserve feelings for each other, like when they first met. Allie asks Noah why he never wrote and she finds out he did write her, 365 letters. They end up making love, betraying Lon's trust, making Allie's decision even harder.

Final decision

Allie's mom arrives and sees her naked, putting all the pieces together and taking her to see something, so she can understand her point of view. Her mom tells her a love story. Her mom, falling in love with a poor guy, just like Allie, and not being able to stay with him because of his social class. We see that her mom suffered too, she put her wants aside just so she could have what she thought was a good life. She doesn't want Allie to make a mistake; or maybe, she doesn't want Allie to do the same thing as she did. She lets Allie make her own decision.

Noah begins to fight with Allie because she is not sure about what to do, he doesn't lend her any time to think, he doesn't consider her engagement. He is angry because he thinks Allie only wants Lon's security and money. He tells Allie that he is willing to put the best in his efforts to stay in a relationship with her.

What I think is the biggest strength in their relationship is how they communicate; they are not afraid to stand for their own opinions, and they know how to fight for their love, even if it is going to be a long and hard path. They can achieve happiness if they work every day to keep the flame of love alive.

My take

Allie had to stop thinking about what other wanted and start to think about what she wanted, how she wanted her life to be. We have an ending where the director lets us know that Allie chose Noah, the hard but right way for her.

What I like about this movie is that, even though Allie and Noah have toxic relationship traits, they work to fix them. We know that healthy relationships in movies are not as intriguing as relationships with flaws. This analysis is not to say that Allie and Noah shouldn't have ended together, but to take a close look to their mistakes and not put a romantic label in them, that is not the point of the story. Romantic relationships are hard, we know that, the thing is: can we put in the effort, every day, to improve them?

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